Supposedly it snowed here in Indiana yesterday. Apparently it was enough to stick for at least a few days. I’m trying to deny that it happened, but not for the reasons that you might think.
I don’t care that it is colder outside. I actually kind of like snow, at least in small doses. It can turn a pile of dirt into a glittering white mountain. It’s not the cold and it’s not the snow that has me melancholy over this premature burst of precipitation.
Rather, I’m having a hard time dealing with what this return of the cold signifies–the passage of time.
More and more I keep hearing Natalie Merchant in my head singing “These are days you’ll remember.” I knew when this school year started that it was, in a way, the end of a season of our life.
My daughters will be 12 and 14 this winter. After this school year, I will have kids in Junior High and High School. I’ve pretended that Intermediate School was kind of like Elementary School because it goes through 6th grade, which was Elementary School for me. But this is a big change. Junior High and High School. I can’t quite wrap my brain around it.
Before this school year started, I vowed to cherish every single day of it. To participate fully in my kids’ activities. To stay involved in as much of their lives as they would let me. I think I’ve kept that vow. But as the snow arrives, so does winter. And winter in “grownup time” is just a few blinks away from spring…and then summer.
I can’t help shake a feeling inside of me that something is going to change and change in a big way for us between now and next fall. And I don’t mean that decade-changing-birthday that I am heading for in May. Something in our lives is going to shift. And I don’t just mean my husband’s recent power tool obsession, and current search for the best 2 stage snow blower he can find, which we can’t afford. I feel like our family’s life is running downhill faster and faster and there is nothing I can do to slow it down.
I’m not wishing away a single day. I’m not looking past this week to something more exciting next week. Because I know that if I do, all of a sudden this snow will be melting and we’ll be opening the pool back up and I’ll be wondering what happened to winter and the holidays and the end of 2014. I’m going to continue to find happiness in every day that I can and try not to constantly look ahead to what is coming down the road.
So I leave you with some lyrics and a little glimpse into why I am so sad to see the snow arrive.
These are days, you’ll remember
Never before and never since, I promise
Will the whole world be warm as this and as you feel it
You’ll know it’s true that you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you
These are days, you’ll remember
When May is rushing over you with desire
To be part of the miracles you see in every hour
You’ll know it’s true that you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you
These are days
These are the days you might fill with laughter until’ you break
These days you might feel a shaft of light make it’s way across your face
When you do you’ll know how it was meant to be
See the signs and know their meaning
It’s true, you’ll know how it was meant to be
Hear the signs and know they’re speaking to you, to you.
(Natalie Merchant and Robert Buck)
Thanks for your post. My oldest is 6, and even though I’m home with my children everyday, I don’t know where the time has gone! I can relate to your feelings completely. It’s so important to enjoy them while they’re in our care, and spend all the time we can associating with them in work, play, and worship. The season of childhood lasts such a short time.