My daughters are approaching the age where I am going to have to make some really hard decisions. As if Pampers v. Huggies, breast v. bottle, and binky v. thumb were not hard enough, I’m soon going to have to decide when and how my daughters can use Facebook.
I’ve been getting a lot of interesting advice from my friends. Some let their kids use Facebook before they even turn 13. Others let them on as soon as they turn 13 but with restrictions. Even others do not plan on allowing them to get accounts at all until they are much older.
It’s not quite as simple as helping them open their account and then making sure that they “friend” you so that you can see what they post. Bigger problems include them making friends with strangers, stumbling onto a lot of inappropriate material, and encountering a cyber version of peer pressure and bullying.
From a personal standpoint, I have seen Facebook cause problems that ADULTS do not know how to deal with. Have you ever heard someone complain that they saw other friends in pictures at parties together or “checking in” for lunches but they didn’t get invited? I have. Reactions run from genuinely hurt to so angry they don’t want to be friends anymore. Imagine that with teen hormones on top of it.
Or what about the posts where people “vent” about people who are annoying them or situations that bother them rather than talking to the actual people about it? They know that their friends will see it. But chances are pretty good that the end result will not just be that the friend changes their attitude. In actuality, it’s likely to make the situation worse.
How do you explain all of these things to a 13 year old? Is it just another part of helping them navigate relationships? Are the security issues basically the same thing as us teaching them not to tell a stranger when they answer the phone that “mom and dad are gone for the evening”?
I hope to get some good comments on this post over time. I have about a year or so to come to a conclusion on this and would love to hear pros and cons of parents who have been through it. Hopefully this post and comments will also be a good resource for other parents in my same position!
My kids both have facebook pages. For now, they just use it mostly for the facebook games and to talk with their cousins. I love that I can monitor their accounts and they ask before they friend anyone.
In this generation, here are here are lots are lots competition to every step. so every parents want to their children will be use to social network very easily.
I am an 18 year old girl. I go to a large high school (5000+ kids 10-12grade). Honestly more “harm” “inapropriate” things happen at school than they do on facebook. I think facebook can be slightly harmful if your child is self consious or might not be very “popular” in school. Some people think they have to have over a thousand friends to be considered cool. That might be an effect. Also seeing other people post tons of pictures with them and their friends makes you “think” that their life is better than yours when your life is probably wayy better than theirs! It all depends on the maturity and how much your child can handle with drama.